God is love – which sometimes feels like we are being served or saved, sometimes feels like we are being beaten. Sometimes we stew in our own juices until we wake up and recognize God within us and in our midst.
Sometimes we feel God’s love so overwhelmingly that all is well. Sometimes if we feel God’s love this strongly, then we also feel that all previous mistakes, sins, wrong perceptions are washed away and we are made whole again. We may not even remember any of our previous sins or mistakes. As an aside: I’ve often thought that Purgatory lasted maybe one to five seconds, if that long. When we meet God, who is love, stand in God’s healing Light, and enveloped in God’s healing Love, are embraced and invited in, all our past wrongs are no more. We simply respond to this God who is love. It is the only thing to do. I think this is what Jesus was getting at. Be prepared, open our eyes to what is really going on, open our hearts to the God who loves, open ourselves to how God manifests this love in our lives every moment. We might be surprised that nothing changes, AND everything changes. We still have to deal with whatever is happening or going on, but the fear, the worry, the anxiety, the unhappiness is no more. Now we can act and move as God loves us to do, which is different for everyone. Sometimes when we ask for help it seems that God just takes a vacation and disappears, is absent. We are left with trying to figure out what to do. Everything we try fails and we feel more awful than before. We might not abuse the other servants, but we certainly are not pleasant to be around. That is when we need to stop whatever we are doing and beg for help. When we hit rock bottom, we crack open a bit, so then God can come in through the cracks. Maybe God comes as a good friend, maybe just a moment of real peace, maybe just one piece of good news, maybe in our kids acting nicely, or our spouse being more attentive. Or maybe we hear God say, “I love you.” And that simple spark of love sets us on the right path, and we can move on and not remain stuck. Through all these things it is God saying, “I love you,” and these three words are freedom, freedom to love God again, freedom to walk God’s path again. So let us be prepared for God showing up at our door, the door of our hearts. For God always brings love, love that overwhelms us, love that frees us to forgive ourselves and others, love that washes away past sins, mistakes, stupidity. That is when God puts on the apron, serves us, and graces us with a feast of love. I found this Apache Prayer and it seems fitting as an end to these reflections. May the sun bring you new energy by day. May the moon softly restore you by night. May the rain wash away your worries. May the breeze blow new strength into your being. May you walk gently through the world and know its beauty all the days of your life.
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