Reflection on the Word
October 23, 2011
Exodus 22:20-26; 1 Thessalonians 1:5c-10; Matthew 22:34-40
Sr. Phyllis Jaszkowiak
“One day a very busy man hurriedly headed out the door for work. In his path was his three year old son playing with blocks. The man patted the boy on the head, stepped over him, opened the door, and went outside. Halfway down the walk a guilt bomb exploded within him.
‘What am I doing?’ he thought to himself. ‘I am ignoring my son. I never play with him. He’ll be old before I know it.’ In the background of his thoughts he heard the pounding rhythms of ‘Cat’s in the Cradle,’ Harry Chapin’s ballad to lost fatherhood. He returned to the house and sat down with his son and began to build blocks. After two minutes, the boy said, ‘Daddy, why are you mad at me?’
It is not only what we do that counts but what prompts the action, why we do what we do. Playing blocks out of guilt is not the same as playing blocks out of love, and the difference is quickly spotted, even by three year olds, maybe especially by three year olds. Doing something because it is expected and doing something from the heart are two different experiences. “Steeling ourselves” and doing something is not the same as “opening ourselves” and doing the same thing, whether it be helping our family, friends, neighbors, or working for justice.
Jesus talks about the commandments of love, and invites us to do what we do from love. The dad in the story learned this from his son. As I was trying to write these reflections I had to listen to what I was saying, to practice what I preach.
I agreed to pick up someone for a meeting and began to resent the inconvenience this was causing me. I had to stop and think, ‘Why am I doing this at all? What motives are driving me to this action? Is it love? Is it a sense of duty? Is it that I want people to think well of me? Do I do it because this is what love expects of me?’ I really discovered that it was all of the above.
So I chose to act out of love, not from the other motives, to open myself and drop the resentment and do what had to be done with a joyful heart. About the same time, one of our sisters, visiting us from the East Coast, became sick and had to be taken to Emergency. Because we knew her and loved her, the inconvenience of taking her there and waiting for 3 hours to be seen was never considered. We just did what needed to be done. We did it out of love. You as parents and spouses do the same. When someone in the family is sick or needs something, you respond whether it is convenient or not.
In the first reading, the Lord tells the people to act justly toward their neighbors, not to oppress or molest an alien, not to wrong a widow or orphan but to care for them, not to loan money at an exorbitant interest. We are to do all these things because, as the Lord says, “I am compassionate.” This is what we grow into when we love God with our whole heart, soul and mind; we grow into the compassion of God.
St. Paul in his letter to the Corinthians says, “If I have all the eloquence of men or of angels, but speak without love, I am simply a gong booming or a cymbal clashing. If I have the gift of prophecy, understanding all the mysteries there are, and knowing everything, and if I have faith in all its fullness, to move mountains, but without love, then I am nothing at all. If I give away all that I possess, piece by piece, and if I even let them take my body to burn it, but am without love, it will do me no good whatever.”
The dad in the story grew in love from the question of his three year old son. I grew in love by reflecting on Scripture and changing my own attitude. We all grow in love by the experiences life brings us, by pondering the Words of Scripture, by looking into our own motives, and by prayer, coming to know the God of love.
Jesus tells us, “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart – compassion, feeling others’ pain; with all your soul – the longing and desire to love; and with all your mind – making the decision to love. And you shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
We are to grow into and act out of love. For our God, who is love, has shown us the way.
The story at the beginning is taken from Fr. John Shea: ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN: THE SPIRITUAL WISDOM OF THE GOSPELS FOR CHRISTIAN PREACHERS AND TEACHERS. Liturgical Press 2004.